Kenyans are now free to attend BBI rallies in huge numbers after the government confirmed that one cannot contract Covid-19 in such meetings. Announcing this new discovery during the launch of the BBI at Bomas of Kenya, the Ministry of Health said that masks and social distancing will no longer be necessary in the BBI […]
Tag: Covid-19
Journalists Can’t Wait to Break the News of the First Covid-19 Case in Schools
Journalists in Kenya are spending sleepless nights trying to be the first to break the news of the first Covid-19 case in schools. For journalist, each second counts and whoever breaks the news gets all the glory. This is why majority of them cannot afford to sleep and instead, they are spending their time loitering […]
Secret Service Switches off WiFi at the White House
The Secret Service has moved in with speed to switch off WiFi at the White House as a precautionary measure against the spread of Covid-19. The decision to switch off the WiFi was not meant to get the Commander in Chief off Twitter for a while, as many assumed, but it was actually a precautionary […]
Meat Animals Think Covid-19 is a Revenge Against Humans
There have been many theories on the origin of Covid-19, but there is one theory that has not been well explored – the meat perspective. Meat animals – animals that humans consume – have argued that Covid-19 is the natures revenge for the years of systemic abuse and mass murder that human beings have had […]
Waititu asks Court to Give him 1400 Days to Impeach Covid-119 from his Body
Former Kiambu Governor and self declared father of the nation Ferdinand Waititu failed to appear in court today and said that he was busy impeaching Covid-119. Through his lawyer, Waititu told the anticorruption court that he had become entangled with corona virus and he needed adequate time to impeach it from the body, adding that […]
Mutahi Kagwe Orders for his Own Arrest Following Corruption Allegations
Health Cabinet Secretary Mutahi Kagwe has ordered for his immediate arrest following revelations that he had a hand in the KEMSA Covid-19 Corruption Scandal. In a brief media briefing following the Senate briefing by former Senator Kembi Gitura and ousted KEMSA CEO Jonah Manjari, Mutahi Kagwe said that he was committed to dismantling all the […]
Kenya Police Receive Donation of Clubs from the US to help fight COVID
The Kenya Police spokesperson today received a consignment of clubs from their counterparts in United States of America in a global co-operation agreement to fight COVID The spokesperson also thanked their Chinese counterparts for donating clubs no longer needed in Hong Kong COVID fights that erupted earlier this year and wish them luck with their […]
Parents in South Africa Announce a Covid-19 Vaccine after Scientists Sleep on the Job
Parents have beaten Scientists to a Covid-19 Vaccine, with The National Association of Parents in School Governance announcing a new vaccine that is 100% effective against the Covid-19 virus. Announcing the new vaccine, President of the Association, Mahlomola Kekana, said that parents were committed to the continuity of education and the welfare of the children. […]
Uhuru Kenyatta Accidentally Repeats an old Speech During the Presidential address on Covid-19 Pandemic
Kenyans were caught up in a time capsule moment when the President Uhuru Kenyatta accidentally read the same Presidential Address on Covid-19 Pandemic as the one he gave last month, with no one realizing that history was literally repeating itself. In a Televised speech from the State House, the president picked a copy of the […]
Dennis Okari: The Last Curve Bender
Kenya has deployed the skills of a renowned curve bender to flatten the Covid-19 curve and the results are instant. Dennis Okari, the man who has spent all his life bending various curves in the world was contracted in the last minute to help bend the Covid-19 curve. This came after all the money available […]