The verdict on Kivutha Kibwana is out: loud and clear. Kenyans have unanimously agreed that the Governor of Makueni County lacks the minimum viable level of corruption needed to become a president in 2022. Ordinary citizens, politicians, political analysts, political scientists, street analysts, jobless youths, injustice victims, marginalized tribes and even the cows of Kenya […]
Month: June 2020
Senate to Decide Waiguru’s Case by Flipping a Non Carcinogenic Coin
The Senate is urgently seeking for a fair non carcinogenic coin that will be tossed to help decide on Waiguru’s fate. In a Senate brief, Speaker Ken Lusaka said that it was important that they find the right two sided coin which will used for the landmark judgement, terming it as the most important ruling […]
Nairobi Named Richest City in Africa after Number of Laptops Stolen Everyday Increases to 228
Nairobi has reclaimed the top spot as the richest city in Africa after the number of laptops stolen everyday increased to 228. In the statistics that were released by a consortium of city policing departments in Africa, Nairobi tops all other African cities in laptop theft, a good indicator of wealth. So rich is the […]
Kenya Bans Abortion in Dogs
Kenya has moved to criminalize abortion in dogs, arguing that puppies are just too cute to be aborted. In a Bill that was proposed by Nakuru Senator Susan Kihika, the House unanimously agreed to ban all form of abortion in dogs, arguing that lives of dogs are too precious to kill and urged all interested […]
“Twasn’t me: Blame the Beans.” Waiguru’s Driver
Government drivers attached to VIPs now want their allowances increased so that they can be eating real proteins, instead of beans. This follows a case where one of them was fired after farting while inside the car, something the governor did not take lightly. Speaking to PostaMate, the neglected government employees said that the only […]
It was not Solitaire; it was Spider Solitaire. Get the Facts Right – Waiguru
Embattled Kirinyaga Governor Anne Waiguru has defended her action of playing solitaire during the Senate hearings, saying that the action helps her keep focused. In a series of Tweets directed at her online haters, Waiguru said that she has been most productive in her life when she played solitaire, giving an example of her time […]
Aden Duale: I have Moved on to Heavier Duties, such as Controlling the Setting of the Sun
Ousted National Assembly Majority Leader and Garissa Township MP Aden Duale has rubbished claims that he is now powerless, saying that he is now more influential than ever! Speaking shortly after the Jubilee Parliamentary Group (PG) meeting held at the Kenyatta International Convention Centre (KICC), Duale said that he was glad to be relieved of […]
PostaMate Media Acquires K24 TV for a Undisclosed Amount of 95 Million
PostaMate Media has come to the rescue of K24 TV after an acquisition deal was signed to save the collapsing TV station. Speaking during the signing of the deal, PostaMate Media Chief Financial Officer and special advisor to PostaMate investors said that the move to acquire the TV station was informed by the common shared […]
HELB to Stop Funding Engineering Courses in Kenya Citing too Many Unemployed Engineers
The Higher Education Loans Board in Kenya (HELB) has announced that it will stop funding all students pursuing engineering courses in Kenya, citing a market glut and lack of meaningful Return on Investment for the courses. Speaking while unveiling the plans for the September 2020 admissions, the Board said that a lot of money was […]
Waiguru Sends a Response of 60,000 Pages to Senate, all in Kikuyu Language
Embattled Kirinyaga Governor Anne Waiguru has made his submissions to the Senate and clinched her first Victory before even saying a word. All 60k pages of evidence are written in Kikuyu! In what could be a genius move powered by her lead lawyer who also happens to be her husband, Waiguru used the Kikuyu language […]









