The Nairobi Metropolitan Services has sounded alarm over the huge number of Non-Governmental Organizations that are dealing with street families in Nairobi. This is after 22,413 NGOs registered with NMS to serve the 19,768 street families in Nairobi. NMS chief Maj-Gen Badi said that managing the big number of NGOs had become even more complicated […]
Tag: Nairobi
Governor Sonko Blames Cloud Computing for the Poor Weather in Nairobi
Nairobi City Governor Mike Sonko has threatened to take stern action against people offering Cloud computing services in Nairobi, blaming them for the bad weather that is being experienced in Nairobi at the moment. Speaking at a local jewelry shop where he spent the day trying out a few blings and studs, Sonko said that […]
NMS: Repainting Nairobi Will End Traffic Jams
While the world is grappling with a pandemic with Kenyan cases of Covid-19 on the rise, the Nairobi Metropolitan Services decided it was time to get the nation’s capital in order. “I think we can all agree that this is long overdue” said General Abdi in a room full of paint buckets. The Arts and […]
Sakaja: I am the one who Arrested the Policemen
Nairobi Senator Johnson Sakaja has denied claims that he was arrested at the Ladies Lounge in Kilimani and spent the night at the Kilimani Police Station, instead saying that he is the one who arrested the policemen. Speaking exclusively to PostaMate on phone, Sakaja said that he was at the lounge to investigate claims that […]
Panic as Skyplasts Make their Way into Kilimani and Lavington
Residents of Kilimani in Nairobi are calling for government intervention after an influx of skyplasts into the formerly coveted neighborhood. The black piece of water container which comes in varied sizes to meet different poverty levels is the most distinct hardware in any home in Nairobi. For many years, it has been limited to the […]
‘There is no free food in Ushago’ Nairobi Residents Warned
Nairobians started a mass migration to the village today after the cessation of movement in and out of Nairobi was lifted. Most of the people were escaping hostile economic conditions in the city following loss of jobs and income due to Covid-19. It did not help that the Landlords never noticed the pandemic so the […]
Nairobi Named Richest City in Africa after Number of Laptops Stolen Everyday Increases to 228
Nairobi has reclaimed the top spot as the richest city in Africa after the number of laptops stolen everyday increased to 228. In the statistics that were released by a consortium of city policing departments in Africa, Nairobi tops all other African cities in laptop theft, a good indicator of wealth. So rich is the […]
Ndakaini Dam only 19% Full
Despite the heavy rains that are pounding all parts of Kenya, causing floods, landslides and other forms of destructions, there is one mystery that no one can solve. The dam that supplies Nairobians with water is not responding to the rains. With all the seven forks dams full and spilling over, the one dam that […]
Pastor Arrested for telling Congregation to Shake their Neighbour’s Hand
Officers from the Recce squad swiftly moved in to arrest a pastor who threatened to decimate the whole country by acting as the agent of the deadly Corona virus in Kenya. The pastor who was giving a sermon titled ‘Be Still and Know that I am God’ had successfully managed to go through the introduction […]
42% of all Middle Aged Men in Nairobi are 3 Months Pregnant
A recent report has disclosed that almost half of all middle aged, middle class men who reside in Nairobi are 3 months pregnant. The weird revelation was made through automated reports by the city’s CCTV system which uses Artificial Intelligence to identify expectant women in order to offer assistance where necessary. The System employs a […]